There’s an inevitability to Marriage Story, a feeling of something like gravity: all-encompassing and firm, easy to forget it’s there as it slowly repels instead of attracts. Perhaps it’s due to director Noah Baumbach’s intimate direction and script, which, despite its wrenching subject matter, plays like a rom-com. There’s sharp dialogue, rich with double entendre and implied history, that’s delivered with an energy that makes it a real shame that it’s in the service of people falling apart, not coming together. Lines layer on top of and under one another, delivered with the easy rhythm of people who know each other intimately. The camera gets close, and we get to see them look at each other in ways that words fail to describe.
At the start of Marriage Story, the relationship is already over. Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) and Charlie (Adam Driver) Barber are seeing a mediator sometime after their decision to separate, expressing a desire to negotiate their transition to separate lives amicably and disrupt the life of their young son Henry as little as possible. They’re warned about how hostile the process can be so want to safeguard against the toxicity that normally comes with a divorce. They decide to not get lawyers. All of those well-meaning notions eventually crumble as Nicole and Charlie, seeking closure, get a divorce and succumb to the animosity and suspicion the legal system is built to breed. Charlie, a theater director, slowly realizes Nicole, an actress, wants to leave New York with their son and start over in Los Angeles.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally recognised union between people, called spouses, that establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. The definition of marriage varies around the world, not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion. Over time, it has expanded and also constricted in terms of who and what is encompassed. Typically, it is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal. A marriage ceremony is called a wedding.
Individuals may marry for several reasons, including legal, social, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious purposes. Whom they marry may be influenced by gender, socially determined rules of incest, prescriptive marriage rules, parental choice and individual desire. In some areas of the world, arranged marriage, child marriage, polygamy, and sometimes forced marriage, may be practiced as a cultural tradition. Conversely, such practices may be outlawed and penalized in parts of the world out of concerns regarding the infringement of women’s rights, or the infringement of children’s rights (both female and male), and because of international law. Around the world, primarily in developed democracies, there has been a general trend towards ensuring equal rights for women within marriage and legally recognizing the marriages of interfaith, interracial, and same-sex couples. These trends coincide with the broader human rights movement.
Marriage can be recognized by a state, an organization, a religious authority, a tribal group, a local community, or peers. It is often viewed as a contract. When a marriage is performed and carried out by a government institution in accordance with the marriage laws of the jurisdiction, without religious content, it is a civil marriage. Civil marriage recognizes and creates the rights and obligations intrinsic to matrimony in the eyes of the state. When a marriage is performed with religious content under the auspices of a religious institution, it is a religious marriage. Religious marriage recognizes and creates the rights and obligations intrinsic to matrimony in the eyes of that religion. Religious marriage is known variously as sacramental marriage in Catholicism, nikah in Islam, nissuin in Judaism, and various other names in other faith traditions, each with their own constraints as to what constitutes, and who can enter into, a valid religious marriage.
Some countries do not recognize locally performed religious marriage on its own, and require a separate civil marriage for official purposes. Conversely, civil marriage does not exist in some countries governed by a religious legal system, such as Saudi Arabia, where marriages contracted abroad might not be recognized if they were contracted contrary to Saudi interpretations of Islamic religious law. In countries governed by a mixed secular-religious legal system, such as Lebanon and Israel, locally performed civil marriage does not exist within the country, which prevents interfaith and various other marriages that contradict religious laws from being entered into in the country; however, civil marriages performed abroad may be recognized by the state even if they conflict with religious laws. For example, in the case of recognition of marriage in Israel, this includes recognition of not only interfaith civil marriages performed abroad, but also overseas same-sex civil marriages.
The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved, and any offspring they may produce or adopt. In terms of legal recognition, most sovereign states and other jurisdictions limit marriage to opposite-sex couples and a diminishing number of these permit polygyny, child marriages, and forced marriages. In modern times, a growing number of countries, primarily developed democracies, have lifted bans on, and have established legal recognition for, the marriages of interfaith, interracial, and same-sex couples. In some areas, child marriages and polygamy may occur in spite of national laws against the practice.
Since the late twentieth century, major social changes in Western countries have led to changes in the demographics of marriage, with the age of first marriage increasing, fewer people marrying, and more couples choosing to cohabit rather than marry. For example, the number of marriages in Europe decreased by 30% from 1975 to 2005.Historically, in most cultures, married women had very few rights of their own, being considered, along with the family’s children, the property of the husband; as such, they could not own or inherit property, or represent themselves legally (see, for example, coverture). In Europe, the United States, and other places in the developed world, beginning in the late 19th century, marriage has undergone gradual legal changes, aimed at improving the rights of the wife. These changes included giving wives legal identities of their own, abolishing the right of husbands to physically discipline their wives, giving wives property rights, liberalizing divorce laws, providing wives with reproductive rights of their own, and requiring a wife’s consent when sexual relations occur. These changes have occurred primarily in Western countries. In the 21st century, there continue to be controversies regarding the legal status of married women, legal acceptance of or leniency towards violence within marriage (especially sexual violence), traditional marriage customs such as dowry and bride price, forced marriage, marriageable age, and criminalization of consensual behaviors such as premarital and extramarital sex.
Marriage Story review: Noah Baumbach brings rom-com energy to …
Marriage Story isn’t necessarily a tragedy about a relationship; it’s about the long legal process we call divorce and how it can poison whatever noble intentions the involved parties had about remaining amicable. “This system rewards ugly behavior,” star divorce lawyer Nora Fanshaw (Laura Dern, maintaining almost all of her Big Little Lies energy) says to Nicole at one point. “At the end of this process,” Charlie’s lawyer, Jay Marotta (Ray Liotta, the perfect foil for Dern), tells him, “you’re going to hate me.”
It cannot be understated how good Driver and Johansson are as the Barbers. While Marriage Story is about divorce, it is not consumed by it. Instead, it slips between tones and moods, much the way people do even during the darkest times in their lives. The Barbers are funny and wry and caring and full of deep, inexpressible love and contempt. Each delivers long, lived-in monologues to other characters as they wander a room, leave the frame, or burst into song. A blowout argument shifts sympathies back and forth as Charlie and Nicole plumb their shared history for grievances to wield as weapons, some more devastating than others.
Marriage Story review: Noah Baumbach brings rom-com energy to …
Marriage Story isn’t a joyless film. It’s clever and witty, with plenty of jokes about California, thanks to the bi-coastal tension of its central pair. It also co-stars Wallace Shawn (Vizzini in The Princess Bride). He’s not terribly important to the plot, but every time I saw him on-screen, it was hard not to shout “inconceivable!” (Honestly, that’s a good response for some of the behavior in this film.) Julie Hagerty and Merritt Wever, who respectively play Nicole’s mom and sister Cassie, are frequently hilarious as they struggle with their familial duty to support Nicole in spite of their overwhelming fondness for Charlie.
One of Marriage Story’s biggest successes lies in its straightforwardness. It’s not a story out to change how you think of relationships or marriage. It strives for honesty, even if it’s cliché. Charlie and Nicole struggle through the same things couples in countless relationships learn the hard way, like how all arguments are the same argument had different ways, how the balance between each partner’s fulfillment must be carefully minded, and how the problems that can bring about the end are all there in the beginning.
The hope of Marriage Story, then, is not ‘til death do them part. Rather, it’s the dignity of any good ending, one that gives you the clarity to understand the meaning of everything that came before it.