The star spoke about George’s death on TV for the first time and told the panel how he would spit in her face when she handed over their little girl to him, prompting DJ to copy and do the same to her.
Kerry said: “I feel guilty DJ didn’t get to see her dad for a year.
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“I know if I’d have stayed with George I’d be dead. I know it 100 per cent. Or DJ would.”
Kerry said she knew George had died the moment his family contacted her through Facebook back in July.
The former rugby ace was only 39 when he was found collapsed at home from a suspected drug overdose.
Tearful Kerry said: “He gave me hell when he was alive. He’s better off where he is. He was so unhappy on this earth.
“He had so many demons, so many issues, we thought when DJ was born he’d change his ways, he had chance after chance. He was never going to change, never going to change.”
George’s drug abuse had a devastating impact on Kerry during their relationship.
She said: “It makes you feel worthless.”
“I left George because of what he was doing. I didn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to do. I won’t be blamed for his death.”
Commenting on George’s troubled life, Kerry insisted he didn’t mean to die.
She said: “He didn’t take his life. It was an accidental overdose. George was too vain to kill himself.
“George had very many issues. By the time I’d worked all these issues out, I was already madly in love with him, we had a baby on the way.
“We’d known each other since we were 14. I always fancied him, he always fancied me. When the violence started, it’s almost like you’re being groomed. Everyone says, ‘Why didn’t you walk away?’”
But Kerry admitted: “When I got a good hiding, I’d apologise to him.”
Kerry prerecorded the emotional segment due to its sensitive nature.
She recorded a thank you message shortly before the show aired thanking the programme for its support.
Last month Kerry sent shivers down spines as she revealed George begged her for forgiveness from beyond the grave.
The Atomic Kitten singer told how the message was very “George based.”.
In her column for New magazine, she wrote: “Last week I decided to have a Tarot reading.
“A lady named Hannah Jackson came down to the house to read me, and it was very George based.
“She says he wants me to forgive him.”
Kerry, mum of five, added: “Patrick, who was George’s dog, was really freaked out when she was there, which I thought was interesting.”
George married the Eternal Flame singer in 2014, after the pair began dating in 2012.
The pair share one child, five-year-old Dylan-Jorge and filed for divorce in 2017.
The ex rugby star is believed to have passed after eating a quantity of cocaine at the Holiday Inn in Runcorn.
George’s mum was also at the house in Warrington, Cheshire, where he lived. A source said: “It is no secret that George had experienced problems with drugs.”
Kerry told how she had sought therapy after George’s death, and made the haunting confession she “saw him everywhere.”
In a chat with the same magazine at the time, she added: “I can smell him, I can hear the sound of his voice, I can visualise him. It’s like a scene from a film. I can feel his skin. He had the softest skin.
“I can see him over the kitchen sink with a knife. I can picture his feet, his hands, everything. I see him on the bed, I picture his clothes in the wardrobe, I see him everywhere.
“His face, just lying there, dead… it’s all I can see. It’s haunting.”
Kerry also has daughters Molly and Lilly-Sue, 14, with ex-husband Brian McFadden, whom she divorced in 2004.
She is additionally parent to daughter Heidi, 10, and and son Max, nine, from her relationship with Mark Croft.
Kerry Katona posts moving video of George Kay’s daughter Dylan-Jorge dancing to emotional song after his death
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